As Parents we are privileged to nurture our children. David is an example of this. Where Absalom exposed David’s loopholes in discipline as a father, Solomon celebrated his strengths.
There is no doubt that David possessed a great soft spot for Solomon. Even though he was born out of a sinful, disobedient moment in his life, he became quickly aware that the hand of God was nevertheless upon his boy.
Reading between the lines, it is evident that David played a huge inspirational role in Solomon’s early years. As eventually Solomon would be the one to succeed him, and have his early years as Israel’s new king dominated by the singular focus of fulfilling the legacy of his father, namely; building God’s great Temple.
In his understanding of this, there are numerous occasions at the close particularly of David’s life, in which he passes on vital information and wisdom to his son in preparation of him stepping into his shoes.
This was not David trying to rush information in a panic knowing his years were limited, but rather David bringing to a climax and conclusion the many things he had drip-fed him over the course of his life. Solomon was his son and had been something of a prodigy.
“When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn, that the Lord may establish his word that he spoke concerning me, saying, If your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’.” (1 Kings 2:1-4 ESV)
Building from where they are at
Part of the nurturing process begins by remaining interested in what your children are interested in. It is the appreciation that all that will be built will be built on the foundation of where they are at.
Too often we try to begin nurture from a perspective of where we hope they would be or even wish they would be; instead of from where they actually are.
During my years in youth work I cannot begin to tell you how often young people would tell me of the way their parents would compare them either to their other siblings or to others within the youth group.
These comparisons usually took the form of—intelligence comparison, behaviour comparison, manners comparison, personality comparison or even spiritual comparison.
It seems that so many young people were being told that they simply weren’t as smart as, or as good as, or as polite as, or as pleasant as, or even as spiritual as.
We grow to the expectations placed upon us
There is a principal in personal growth that runs along the lines of each person growing to the expectations that are placed upon them.
With this in mind; we might ask, how much smarter will our children become if we compare them continuously to the smarter kids that they are not?
Or how much more polite will our children become if they are always being compared to those far more polite?
How do we hope to improve their manners, or enrich their personalities, or deepen their characters, if all we ever do is ignore what they do have and wish for what they don’t yet have?
This is precisely what I mean when I say that if we are to truly nurture our children we must start by building on the foundation of where they are, however poor or weak or out of sync we imagine that foundation to be.
If their behaviour is bad then we must embrace that and start from there towards good behaviour. If their educational ability is low or their effort level is weak, then we must embrace that place and begin building towards a better perspective and approach to their education, and not wish them to be stronger or compare them to someone we deem better.
There is untold power in embracing our children precisely at the place they are at, however weak and undesirable to us as parents that place may be. And if we remain in the right frame of mind, then the reality is we can actually build anything from that ‘real’ place.
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